How much is a “Hello” worth?
The debate around people in the diaspora “ignoring” calls and texts is a tricky one, and I get both sides. Living abroad can be tough — life can become a constant hustle, balancing endless work shifts, keeping up with bills, and trying to stay afloat in a new culture. Add side projects or content creation to the mix, and it’s no wonder so many feel swamped. In this sense, loved ones back home should extend a bit of grace, understanding that a delayed response doesn’t mean they don’t care.
But then there’s a fine line between genuinely being busy and just not making an effort. Ignoring calls and messages for months, while constantly updating WhatsApp stories, Facebook posts, or Instagram lives, saying it’s all due to “busyness,” feels a bit ... more like a shallow excuse.
Understandably, some moments need prioritising and replying to one message might open the floodgates for more. But if you can spare a few minutes to share life updates on your socials, how can you not carve out even half an hour in a month to send a simple, “Hi, I’ve been swamped but just wanted to check in”?
Everyone has obligations and deadlines, and diaspora life isn’t easy, I know this first hand. But maintaining connections with loved ones, even in small ways, shows that you value the relationships that were there before you took that journey. If your friends and family reach out, give them the courtesy of at least a check-in when you can. Even a message to let them know you’re very busy with work this week, or this month, can make a big difference.
The “mark as unread” option is there for a reason. No one expects hour-long chats weekly (your friends aren’t that idle); just a little touchpoint to say you’re still connected.
If the issue is financial and you can’t afford a call or lend money, communicate openly. A simple “I can’t afford to do this right now” can save misunderstandings — of course, some people might still pick offence, it’s hard to satisfy everyone anyway, but do your best at least.
If you know that announcing a new job or big milestone will bring in an avalanche of messages, ask yourself if you’re ready to respond.
This is just my thought dump on balancing reality with the effort to stay in touch and respecting that friendships are a two-way street.
Diaspora life might be busy, but respect and connection shouldn’t be left behind.
